Dear Owen,

It was Saturday, March 27 and because my blood pressure had started to creep up, it was time for the second try at castor oil. The first try didn't produce labor, but hopefully the contractions I did have, were not in vain. We knew the routine; castor oil, poops and wait. This time I thought we would try any and all the tricks. Daddy gave me a massage to try to help me relax and let go; I just cried because nothing was happening. I did acupressure points and nipple stimulation and still waited. Around 5 pm, when Daddy was out walking Luna, I decided that I was going to sing you out. Somehow I knew this is what I had to do. It felt right and I knew it would have to be Rachel Garlin. The next four hours I sang along to Rachel Garlin and hit acupressure points. Mild contractions started to come sporadically between 3-5 minutes apart and lasting about 45 seconds. We hoped that this was it, but didn't speak of it in fear that it wasn't real labor.

Around 10:30 pm contractions started to get more intense, more regular and longer. We called Jennifer to ask if I had to stay on my left side now that things were picking up. "Yes," she said, which was not what I wanted to hear. She said what we were working with is whether or not we got to stay at home. This was convincing enough for me, so besides trips to the bathroom, I stayed on my left side.

It was just after midnight when things seemed like they were really moving and we decided we might like some extra support. Contractions were every 3-4 minutes and lasting 60 seconds and I was saying things like "Jiminy Crickets! and Motherf---er". We called Michelle and she called Jennifer. Jennifer soon called back and said that she was on her way. We were happy to hear this and I tried to rest in between contractions, taking one at a time. I was able to doze off a bit in between, but sleeping seemed to slow things down a bit. When Jennifer arrived my blood pressure was good and your heart rate was good, but we both agreed it didn't really seem like active labor. I told her I would be surprised if I was more than three centimeters dilated and we all decided to get some sleep.

During the night contractions continued, but with far less frequency and intensity. The next morning we all awoke around 7:30. Based on the fact that contractions weren't coming regularly, Jennifer said that she thought we should go in for a non-stress test and see if we could buy a couple of more days. This was very discouraging and my hopes of having a homebirth seemed to be slipping away. Each attempt to start labor began the roller coaster of emotions from the excitement that you were on your way to the anticipation of labor pains to the disappointment that labor really hadn't gotten going. "Let me check you just to see where we are at," Jennifer said. "Wow, well this is good news, this gives us some new options, how far along do you think you are?" Jennifer asked upon checking. "Well before you said 'good news,' I would have said around three cm," I replied. "Five centimeters, 100% effaced and -1 station, we're having a baby today," she said with a smile. This was the best news ever. I couldn't believe it, I had slept to 5 cm dilated. My faith was renewed and this was exactly what I needed to hear to regain my confidence. She said she could break my bag and really get things going or let it happen on its own. I decided to let things happen on their own wanting the cushion of the bag to protect you as long as possible. She said she would go home, check in with her family, have some breakfast and then come back when things picked up again.

I called my parents and sister to let them know the good news. Mal said he would be down to pick up Luna for her morning walk and that my mom would be down after she showered and ate some breakfast. Well, I knew what to do now; lie on my left side, put on some Rachel Garlin, sing from my heart and hit some acupressure points. Shortly, things picked up and by 9:00 contractions were strong and long and getting more regular. My hands and arms danced to the music as labor sounds poured from my belly out my mouth. As Rock said later, "Princess Diphtheria (my interpretive dance name) was out in full force." My head rocked from side to side creating a major rats nest in my hair. My body moved as much as possible while lying down. Whenever I needed something, Dad and Mimi were there to do it, from sips of Recharge, to squeezing their hands, to just knowing we were loved and held.

"You'll tell me when I can get into the tub, right?" I asked Jennifer longingly. "You can get in now if you want, we just have to see if things space out," she responded. This was music to my ears. Being in the water took the edge off the contractions, but most importantly it gave me a bit more freedom to move. I still rested on my left side in between contractions, but during the contractions I kneeled and squatted letting each contraction open me more to allow for your passage. Your dad wiped me down with a cool cloth and soon Michelle arrived. It was around 11:30 am when I started to feel a little rectal pressure. We knew this meant that soon I could start pushing so we called Heather to let her know that she should come and be ready to take pictures. By noon, Beah and Heather were both here and the whole birth team was assembled.

"You can start pushing whenever you feel like it," Jennifer said. "Just follow your body." I was a bit surprised that I could start pushing since they hadn't checked to make sure my cervix was completely dilated, but I trusted that they knew it would be okay so with each contraction I started practicing my pushing. Timidly at first, I pushed for a small portion of a contraction, but when it increased the pain, I would back off and just let the contraction do the work. "When you feel the pain, you just have to push through it and then it will feel better," Beah reassured. I knew I had to get a bit closer to the pain for you to come out so I starting working with it and experimenting. I started feeling inside of me for your head and soon I was able to feel it. I was so happy to know that you were making your way down and that the pushing was working. Then Jennifer felt inside and with a gentle poke my water broke. All of a sudden I knew that what I had been feeling as your head was actually a bulging bag of water and again I felt inside to feel your head, but it was no longer there. "What station am I?" I inquired. "About zero," said Jennifer. Now I knew that I really hadn't started the work of pushing and that I had to get really serious about this if I was going to get you out. I was pretty deflated, but also determined.

I was starting to feel woozy and overheated in the tub so I got out and moved to the couch to push. With one leg propped up on Luna I tried to get the hang of pushing here. "Do you want to try a couple of pushes on the toilet?" Beah suggested. Not knowing whether I did or not, I moved into the bathroom. Here pushing came together for me. New sounds started to come from my body from a place I had never been. This was really hard work. I was not feeling a strong urge to push, but I knew I had to, so with a lot of will, I did. I continued to feel for your head and soon I was able to feel it and this time for sure. This was the best positive feedback there was. With each push I could feel what was working and what wasn't. When I found something that worked, I pushed a bit harder.

Soon I started to feel the burn. I knew this was you getting closer, but wow did that hurt. With a flashlight, Beah, Jennifer and Dad were able to see your head. In between pushes you would slip back in, but with each push, I could feel your head coming down more and they could see your head appear. When I started to get closer to crowning, I waddled back to the couch with the biggest watermelon hanging between my legs. Back on the couch, I knew I was close. "When you really start to feel the burn, just try to blow," the midwives coached. That is easier said than done. Now I was starting to have the urge to push, but it was more like something that would just take over my body and that I had no control over. I knew I had to take it slow to try to stretch, but it just happened. I pushed a bit in between contractions trying to allow my perineum to stretch. Soon, as Beah and Jennifer said, "okay, now blow, blow, blow," I said, "he's coming," and your head slid out. I knew there was no holding back, you were on your way and there was no stopping you. "Put your hands here, Dad," instructed Jennifer as Daddy helped pull the rest of your body out of me and onto my chest.

Right away, you gave a nice cry and pinked up. You were absolutely amazing and I couldn't believe that you were finally out. We did it. I just stared at you dumb founded, stupefied by the bigness of this moment. "Oh, my god," I kept repeating, not knowing what else to say. Your Dad and I cried as we looked into to your eyes for the first time. You were a dream come true and I couldn't have asked for more.

You were born at 2:32 p.m. on the sofa and weighed in at 8 pounds 6 ounces. I am so happy that you were born at home and that your journey was as gentle as it was. We were both surrounded by such love and support. Trust and Faith and Magic and Miracles and Midwives were all there.

Thank you for the journey.

Love, Mom

Dear Bumpkin,

To share the story of your birth, I have to start about a month before you were born.

After a life long plan of having an all natural homebirth, setting everything up, having everything planned, at 37 weeks we found out you were breach and everything changed.

Unfortunately the Bay Area was not as open to breach births as we might have hoped; they wanted me to have a cesarean. I didn't want to do that, so Daddy and I decided to go to Grandma's and see the family midwife and OB there. We drove down late at night, Mommy slept in the back of the car while Daddy drove.

The next morning we woke up and your Auntie and Uncle Bub came over to tell us that she had been in pre labor all night with your cousin. Mommy and Auntie were due 10 days apart. That night we all gathered at Auntie and Uncle Bub's house and welcomed your cousin Aiden. Mommy will always remember dancing belly to belly with Auntie.

Over the next few days we tried all forms of alternative medicine to encourage you to turn head down. Mommy did lot of hand stands in the pool, we went to see an acupuncturist, Daddy played music and shined lights through the belly for you and Mommy hung up side down. When all of these things didn't work we decided to try and external version.

On Mommy and Daddies first wedding anniversary we checked into labor and delivery at the hospital. Mommy was given tributaline and Dr. Cole tried to manually turn you. This was a good opportunity for Mommy to use all her pain coping techniques, we thought several times we had you head down, but you were already showing your personality and stayed head up. That night, Daddy had to drive home to go to work and school, Mommy was going to stay and live with Auntie and Uncle Bub to await your birth. Dr. Cole had agreed to let Mommy try and deliver you naturally.

The next few weeks seemed all at once to fly by and drag slowly. Daddy would fly down on the weekends and every Monday we would go see Dr. Cole to see if Mommy had made any progress. Each Monday night Uncle Bub would take Daddy back to the airport. When Mommy was 5 days overdue, on our Monday appt., Dr. Cole finally said we would have to induce labor since you were getting so big and it would make it harder for Mommy to deliver you naturally. He said he would give us till Friday. Daddy flew home to get things ready for us.

The morning that marked 41 weeks for us, I woke up early unable to sleep. I felt tired and worn out with worry, and very very hugely pregnant. I was ready to meet you. I went to breakfast with Auntie, Uncle Bub and Chuckie. I was not even able to tie my own shoes at this point. After breakfast I went to Grandma's house and took a nap in her nice big bed. After my nap, Grandma took me to see a movie; you were crazy active during the movie. That afternoon, my contractions started coming with more regularity. That night was the lunar eclipse. Mommy and Grandma took a nice walk to look at the moon, during which, Mommy had to stop every five minutes to breath! It looked like you were finally coming.

Mommy talked to Daddy that night, I told him to not worry about coming down that night, since I was sure it would be a long one, and he had already missed the last flight down. He could just fly first thing in the morning and Uncle Bub would pick him up. Lucky for us, Grandma called him back and insisted he start driving right away. After spending some time watching Don Juan De Marco from the hot tub, Mommy was feeling ready to come inside. Auntie came over to help Mommy, Uncle Bub stayed downstairs with your cousins on a big mattress on the floor. Mommy, Grandma, and Auntie took over Grandmas room. There was nice music on and candles lit and the three of us did the labor dance together. This part was so nice; we had all just done it while Auntie was laboring so we were a good team. Grandma called Karni the midwife and she came over to check Mommies progress around midnight. Mommy was at 2.5cm!!! I was thrilled, up until this point, I had not been convinced it was actually happening!

Over the next four hours, labor progressed, Mommy had a lot of back labor and Auntie spent a lot time pushing on Mommies back. Grandma made a nice bed for Mommy to try and nap in and held Mommies hair while she was sick. At four in the morning, I was sure I had either just pee'd in the bed or my water had broken. Karni came to check me and it turned out I had just pee'd a little because you were pressing so hard on my bladder and amazingly enough I was 7cm already!! We had to go to the hospital!!!

BumpPa helped Mommy down the stairs, while Grandma called Dr. Cole to let him know we were coming. Mommy climbed in the back of Grandmas car, I was crying for Daddy, afraid he would miss your birth. Just as we pulled out of the driveway, Daddy pulled in behind us, he was able to follow us to the hospital and wheel Mommy in. By the time we were checked in Mommy was at 9cm. We were sure you were on your way out.

Four hours later you were still at the same position. We decided to try some different techniques to get you out. We tried Stadol, Epidural and Pitocin. After another four hours you had still not changed positions, so Mommy finally decided it was time for you to be born and told Dr. Cole to do a cesarean. This was at 1:30 in the afternoon. You were born at 2:07pm, October 28, 2004.

Your birth taught me patience and how to bend. My healthy, beautiful 8lb 10oz baby boy. You were worth every pain, every worry, and each and every tear.

Love,
Mommy

Leo Henry Camille Berger-Greer

June 6, 2004

11:30 am: Clarence called me on my cell phone, to let me know that her water had broken that morning. The hospital wanted her to come in, but she is not having a regular contraction pattern. We decide to wait and see what happens.

1:20 pm: Jim calls, Clarence has had a couple heavy contractions and would like me to come over. When I arrive I find Clarence calmly watering the plants and Jim taking the trash out. After some discussion to see what seems to be making the contractions stronger, we decide that we'll try a walk and see if that kicks the contractions into gear. We stop at the Albany Sauna and Jim buys some goodies. We also stop to get coffee and run into a couple of friends.

2:05 pm: Clarence has had a few contractions 5 minutes apart, she tries out sitting on the birth ball and is liking it.

2:58 pm: We've spoken to Dede and to Mary on the phone. Contractions are getting stronger. Jim receives an email from Nate, Jackson Valentine was born yesterday! Clarence decides after a particularly heavy contraction that she would like to go to the hospital. We load my car up and get Clarence and Jim settled in the back seat. Clarence takes her shoes off and finds that kneeling on the floor and holding onto Jim during contractions is the most comfortable position. Jim continues to praise Clarence during and after each contraction, letting her know how well she is doing. Clarence finds she needs to pee so we get off the freeway and she uses the icky bathroom, I accidentally get on the freeway going the wrong way, after a few minutes we get straightened out. After a particularly heavy contraction, Clarence looks up and tells Jim you're doing a really good job.

4:00 pm: We arrive at the hospital. Jim and I get all our bags together and Clarence breathes thru several contractions. We make it to the elevator and Clarence has another big contraction. She kneels on the ground and leans over the birth ball. Several people step out of the elevator, the next one brings a bunch of labor and delivery nurses. After some confusion about what we are doing, one nurse says she will go and get us a wheel chair. Luckily she arrives with the chair just as the security guard is working himself up into a fit that we are still sitting there.

4:15 pm: Clarence and Jim go into Triage, I wait in the hall with the bags and meet up with Dede.

5 pm: We finally get our room and start to move in, Clarence climbs onto the bed on her hands and knees. She has already progressed to 7 cm!! We decide that after her blood tests are done, we will try the shower. Our midwife is delivering another baby so we have an OB for a bit. After he confirms that Clarence is still at 7cm, she and Jim get into the shower together.

5:30 pm: Clarence is doing well on the birth ball in the shower, but is starting to feel pushy.

6:00 pm: Nurse Shannon checks Clarence and she is at 8 cm now and 0 station. Clarence is asking for something to take the edge off. We consider trying the shower again.

6:40 pm: A nurse comes to put in an IV, Clarence would like to try a little phentonal. While the IV is being put in, Clarence starts to grunt with each contraction. She throws up a little bit and continues to grunt. After a few of these, I ask Dede to check to see if she sees any head crowning. With the next contraction we see that indeed there is a baby head! I run to the door to get our nurse, and catch her as she is coming in. Our midwife, Shanti, is right behind her. She has heard Clarence down the hall and figured we were getting close.

7:00 pm: Shanti checks Clarence; it is time to get this baby out!

7:15 pm: Clarence is still on her hands and knees using spontaneous pushing. She is able to reach down and touch the top of the baby's head. She slowly pushes her self into an upright position on her knees.

7:22 pm: Clarence is able to reach down and pull the baby out. She leans down and checks. It's a boy!!!! After some time, Jim cuts the cord. The baby weighs in at 7.4 lbs (3.3 kg) and 20.5 inches long. He gets 9 on his apgar scores. He is healthy and pink with a full head of hair.

Jim and Clarence, I want to thank you for inviting me to share in this experience with you. You both showed so much courage and love for each other, it was truly an inspiring day. I look forward to our children growing up together. I will always have a special spot for Leo, after watching him come into this world. You both are going to be amazing parents. I really appreciate watching you roll with every change and take each hurdle as it comes. It is very refreshing. So much love to the three of you.

Dakota Lillie

It was funny because you were born on a Tuesday and that Sunday night I wrote in our journal that I was ready for you to be born. I was ready because you were not much of a mover and I kept measuring small and I no longer wanted to worry (I am a worrier). So Monday was a holiday and your Uncle Derek and I went on a great 45 minute hike and I think that he will always believe that is what kicked my into labor. That Monday was just a great day and the night only got better.

My labor was so textbook it is kind of funny. Around 9 that night I went to the bathroom and something was different 'could this be my mucus plug?'. I quickly went online I was so excited thinking okay this is it this is the beginning.... Well as I read I realized that yes I was beginning to lose my plug but birth could still be up to two weeks away. I always felt so excited about labor and delivery never nervous or scared (really just extremely naive). Then the tiniest contractions started and they were almost regular every 5-7 minutes and lasting about 30 seconds not painful in the least and I should have been able to sleep that night but I was so darn excited I couldn't. At one point even thought the were not painful I started to log my contractions. Your dad is an early riser and so I had it in my head that I would wake him before his alarm. "Randy I think that we are going to have a baby today" well he flew into action before I could really tell him that I didn't think that it would be for awhile. But he got to work making sure I had my music and his bag and what else what else? Around 9am we went grandma's house where you were going to be born, I called Karni just to give her a heads up.

Your dad and I took a walk and the contractions continued to do their thing. When we got back about an hour or so later I was having a contraction and I peed my pants 'what in the world' well my second thought was maybe that was my water breaking but it was not a lot of water and there was not a continuous trickle. I called Karni a little while later to fill her in on what I thought could be me peeing my pants and/or my water breaking all the while my contractions were doing there thing. Daddy was beginning to get nervous. So I called your Grammy and told her that she needed to start wrapping things up at work. We also called your auntie Leslie because she was going to our support person. So Leslie got to Grammy's and then shortly there after Grammy arrived. We realized that I needed to eat but I also wanted to go for a walk. So me, your Grammy and auntie Leslie set out to go to the shopping center it was about a ten minute walk my contractions were still doing their thing I felt like I could do it no problem. We would get there grab a smoothie walk to Kohls buy me some birthing pj's and head home. Well we got about a hundred yards from the house and I had a contraction that made me stop in my tracks. Okay I can still do this shortly there after another stop this continued on for about five minutes and each time I had a contraction I would brace myself on Grammy and Leslie would rub my back. Well we were a little more than half way there and I realized that we had to head back because I was not going to make it. It was a slow process but we made it back and I laid on the floor with each contraction getting harder and longer.

We called Karni "Karni hi this is Leslie I am here with Kristen her contraction are coming about every 3 minutes and lasting about 60-70 seconds" I remember hearing the conversation. Well I remember going up stairs knowing Karni was on her way and scared that she was going to get there and check me and I was going to be at a one.

I was at a one. Karni got there checked me and I was at a one a one.... no don't get hung up on the number but I was so deflated. And these contractions kept on coming harder and longer. A couple times Leslie suggested the shower and for whatever reason the thought of having wet hair just seemed like too much for me to deal with .... a shower cap what a great invention. Into the shower I went and oooohhhh the relief it felt so great in there. With each contraction I would brace my lower back against the wall and it helped so so much. I can't remember if I got sick before I got in the shower or after but I do remember the only reason that I got out of the shower was because I had to go number two. Karni said that I should go ahead and try and then she would check me. I cringed at the thought I don't know if I could stand to hear 2 or 3 or even 4.

So after I dried off Karni checked me and I nearly fell off the bed when she said 'I just want to make sure what I am feeling I can no longer feel your cervix" What I have regressed what does she mean she can not find my cervix "with your next contraction you can start pushing". It was about an hour since she had checked me the first time I did it we did it ahhh the sweet relief of hearing the words you can push now.

For whatever reason I didn't envision pushing as being as hard as it was. I pushed for forty-five minutes. There were times when I thought no I can't I am tired and I am done but somehow with each contraction I remember doing what I needed to do. Because then you were here my beautiful sweet angel of a girl my sweet Dakota Lillie. At our last ultrasound your daddy found out that you were a girl and he did so great at keeping it a secret I had no idea. So before I looked for myself to see if you were a boy or a girl I asked your daddy but I had to look for myself its a girl sweet Dakota Lillie.

Dear Henry,

It is hard to say when your journey out began. About three weeks before you were due we found out that you were breech. I spent about a week doing everything I knew to try to help you turn; moxabustion, chiropractic, hips in the air, handstands in the pool, cold peas on your head, a flashlight at the bottom of my uterus, positive affirmations, visualizations, homeopathy and more. With a little help, you turned and I felt like we were back on track. Then a week later, we found out that once again you were breech. You were a big baby by now and I was surprised I hadnˆÉ¬¢t felt you move and was scared there wouldnˆÉ¬¢t be enough space for you to turn. I spent a scary afternoon thinking that I would need a c-section and then we were able to turn you. At this point, all my energy went to making sure you stayed head down. I slept sitting up, stayed out of water and encouraged you to come down into the pelvis with a lot of walking.

Your due date came and went and my blood pressure was going up. Two days after your due date, Beah, our midwife called and said she couldnˆÉ¬¢t exactly explain it, but that she had spent the night worrying about me and that when she feels that way it is usually time for the baby to come out. With this said, we went straight to Elephant Pharmacy to get castor oil and try to start your journey out. One dose down the hatch, we went to MichelleˆÉ¬¢s house, our other midwife and she checked my blood pressure, made sure you were head down and checked to make sure I had no protein in my urine. Everything was fine so we went home to wait for the poop and then the contractions to begin. In a couple of hours, the poop began and several hours after that, the contractions began. Daddy and Owen were out at the park and I began lighting candles, dimming the lights, listening to Sweetly by Rachel Garlin and pacing. I was focused and convinced that this was the recipe for you to come out. I thought if I could just keep this going, things would happen. The contractions were mild, but I was hopeful that they would pick up.

Soon, Michelle called and asked if it would be okay if she came over and slept at our house that night. This way, when labor really got going she would already be at our house. This sounded good so she headed over. Daddy started to put Owen to sleep and I went to join him after Michelle got here. Once Owen was asleep, contractions started to pick up. Michelle and I were in the kitchen and soon she said, ˆÉ¬£Maybe we should call BeahˆÉ¬§. I was excited and eager for you to come. We also called Mimi, Heather and Betsy and by about 11 p.m. the whole team was assembled.

Contractions seemed to slow down and not get more intense. Daddy did some pressure points, but when it became clear that labor was still a ways away we decided to get some sleep. Luna and Beah were down in the basement, Mimi and Owen were in his room and everyone else went home. Contractions never picked up and at 7 a.m. Beah came in to say that she was heading home.

It was Thanksgiving day. At one point, the night before, I thought we were going to have a Thanksgiving baby, but as the day went on it seemed clear that what we were going to have was a yummy Thanksgiving dinner.

On Friday, we woke up and got to work getting you out. Day two of castor oil. Not too much fun. I had a hemorrhoid from day one and day two poops were pretty irritating. I struggled this day with the butt pain and concern that it would not work. Around 3, we decided it would be nice for mommy and daddy to have some time together to connect and support each other during this challenging period, so Owen went to hang out with Mimi and Papa. Daddy rubbed my feet and did acupressure and contractions started coming more regularly, but still mild. After about an hour, they seemed to slow down.

Disappointed, I called Michelle. She asked if I knew anyone who could do some acupuncture. My friend the acupuncturist was out of town, but I had one other idea. We both thought of the same person so she gave her a call and Maureen was able to meet me at her office.

Daddy and I went in to meet Maureen and with the help of some needles and electricity she was able to get contractions coming pretty regularly, but still mild. We came home, had Mimi and Papa bring Owen home and began working on getting Owen to sleep. I was having contractions every three minutes, but not strong enough to get a baby out. Around 8:30, I called Michelle to give her the update. She was at dinner, but said she would come by when she was done eating to check in.

When Michelle got here, contractions were still coming, but still mild. Although, it still didnˆÉ¬¢t seem like real labor, we decided she should check me and see what was happening with my cervix. To our surprise, I was 5 cm dilated. She called to check in with Beah and let her partner know that she would not be home after all. Michelle suggested that I walk some stairs and as soon as I did this, contractions started to pick up. We called the rest of the team and by 11:30 everyone was assembled, a dˆÇ¬éjˆÇ¬à vu from two nights before. This time though, contractions were getting stronger. During contractions, I breathed heavily, leaned on Daddy, swayed my hips and danced with my head. They started to get stronger than I remembered with Owen and I was beginning to feel pushed to my limit. I tried getting in the tub and this slowed things down. While the longer break felt nice, I decided to get out so that I could get you out faster. I was starting to feel some urge to push and was having a lot of fear around this. Pushing had been so hard with Owen and I was already feeling at my limit that I couldnˆÉ¬¢t quite imagine going through pushing. I remember asking about passive descent, hoping that maybe I could just let the contractions push you down and not have to work so hard.

Around 2 a.m., Owen woke up and wanted mommy. After a while, I went up to join him in bed hoping that I could get him back down quickly. He fell asleep, but anytime I moved away from him, he would wake back up. While contractions slowed down when I lay with him, I was still amazed that I could do that during transition. It is amazing, the strength that you find as a mom. Owen was still not asleep, but I needed to get back to trying to get you out. Daddy stayed with Owen and I went back downstairs.

As soon as I came back down, contractions picked back up and I was feeling ready to be done. I asked for suggestions and Michelle mentioned breaking my bag and Betsy began acupressure. Soon Michelle checked me to see how far along I was. 7cm dilated, but you were still high. We needed you to come down and put more pressure on my cervix. What happened from here is a little foggy. I know that contractions felt like they were right on top of each other and that transition seemed to last forever. Owen and Daddy were on my mind. I decided that I thought it would be a good idea to rupture my membranes, but that I wanted Daddy to be a part of that decision. I was checked again and was 9 cm dilated with a lip. I got back into the tub so that I could get a little break as I waited for Daddy to come back down and kept working through each contraction, taking them one at a time.

Owen still not asleep and Daddy decided to bring him down to join the party. We decided as long as he could handle it, he could stay and if it felt like he couldnˆÉ¬¢t or I couldnˆÉ¬¢t, Mimi would take him back to her house. Michelle went to get Beah who had been resting downstairs and Beah ruptured my membranes. As soon as that happened, I got back into the tub and with the next contraction the urge to push was much stronger. After only a couple of contractions, I started to feel burning. When I asked the midwives if this was okay, they jumped into action and asked me if I could feel anything inside. ˆÉ¬£I feel something bumpy,ˆÉ¬§ I said thinking that maybe I was feeling his cord, but forgetting how their heads mold in the birth canal. ˆÉ¬£ThatˆÉ¬¢s his head,ˆÉ¬§ Beah replied and I soon realized that pushing was going to be totally different with you. Daddy got in the tub and got ready to help you out. The midwives encouraged me to blow and let you come down slowly. For a couple of contractions I could do this, but once I started to push a little, I couldnˆÉ¬¢t stop. I felt your head come out with one push and hardly any burning and I couldnˆÉ¬¢t believe it. ˆÉ¬£You have to get the rest of him out Rebecca,ˆÉ¬§ Michelle said. ˆÉ¬£How?ˆÉ¬§ I asked, remembering how all of Owen slid out after his head was born and thinking that I was done. ˆÉ¬£You have to push,ˆÉ¬§ she replied. With one push the rest of you slid out and Daddy brought you up to me. As your head broke the surface of the water, you let out a good cry and you were in my arms.

I looked at you with amazement; unable to fully grasp that you were out. Pushing had taken 2 ˆÇ¬½ hours with Owen and in less than 20 minutes you were in my arms. It was one of the happiest moments of my life and in one instant, I couldnˆÉ¬¢t imagine life without you. Owen who had been sitting patiently in MimiˆÉ¬¢s lap came over to meet you and I couldnˆÉ¬¢t believe how lucky I was to have you two boys. He gave you and me a big kiss and totally understood the magic of the moment.

It was 3:28 on the morning of November 25, 2006 and our family had now grown to four. As I got out of the tub to see how much you weighed and check both of us out, Beah was there and I was overwhelmed with gratitude and wonderment. There had been several moments along the way where I had to seriously consider your arrival being very different than it was. I was once again reminded of the miracles of midwives and I was so happy that you had been born at home, a healthy 8 lbs. 10 oz. baby boy and that we could now go curl up in bed together as a family and begin our life as four.

Love, Mommy

Welcoming Pea Baby

Your birth story begins at 38 weeks gestations. I once again traveled to southern California to await the birth of my baby. Daddy drove me and Joey to Chuckieˆ¢s house where he and Jessica had made our room so cozy for us. We spent the next 2 weeks visiting with Grandma and the Aunties and friends. Doing my best to stay cool!

Friday

40 weeks came and went, on Friday night, at 3 days overdue daddy flew down from Berkeley and we picked him up at the airport.

Saturday

2:30am, I woke up with some contractions. These were different than the

Braxton hicks I had been having before, but after awhile I was able to go back to sleep.

When we woke up later that morning they were still there but sporadic and not strong at all.

We decided to go to the movies with Grandma and the Aunties. We went to the Simpsonˆ¢s movie, and Daddy thought it would be funny if my water broke there! Thank god it didnˆ¢tJ.

We went to Grandmaˆ¢s house afterward and I tried to take a nap with Joey, but I couldnˆ¢t sleep very well.

Later that evening we had dinner with Mercy and Buster. At 9pm I was tired and wanted to go home. We went back to Chuckie and Jessicaˆ¢s house and had a short hot tub and crawled into bed.

Sunday

2:30am, I woke up again with contractions and the feeling like I had to poop, so off I waddled to the bathroom. These contractions were radiating in my tail bone and low down in my belly. After awhile of this I decided to try and go back to bed.

Lying down seemed to hurt more and I felt like I had to poop again, so I got back up and went into the bathroom.

I tried one more time to lie back down in bed, but they got harder there. I was using my breathing and I didnˆ¢t want to wake Joey or Daddy yet.

I went downstairs to walk around so I could see if they changed. At 4:30am I started to think, this is it, so I sent Grandma a text message letting her know.

By 4:50 I was sure, so I called Grandma and Odessa to let them know I was pretty sure we would have a baby by tonight. Everyone was their way, and I went out to sit in the hot tub and watch the dawn come. The moon was full, but it was so overcast I couldnˆ¢t see it. Sitting in the hot tub was great, it made my contractions feel better and it was so peaceful. I was able to visualize you coming down the birth canal and I had the nicest talk with you, asking you to tuck your chin and hold youˆ¢re hands down. I felt very connected and ready.

By 6am Grandma and Auntie Aura had come. I had gotten out of the tub and was sitting on the couch. I threw up just after they got there. Grandma began calling Karni the midwife and the rest of the birth team. From here on out the contractions got stronger and closer together. Unlike your brotherˆ¢s labor, I did not want to be touched. It felt so much more intense this time. I used my voice during each contractions, this helped a lot. Grandma jokes that she was afraid I was going to have you holding onto the wall, standing on a small piece of cardboard that the painters had left!

By 7am Auntie Deanna was there and Chuckie and Jessica were awake. They began cleaning the living room and putting all the animals in the garage. The noises I was making were really making the animals nervous.

I went upstairs in between contractions to let Daddy know you were on your way, and to make sure he stayed in bed to keep Joey asleep. I needed all my focus to continue laboring with you.

About 7:30 we moved upstairs and began making the bed up. I lost my mucous plug and then my water broke, very conveniently in the bathroom! Karni arrived about 20 minutes after my water broke and I crawled up on the bed with my birth ball. I was so loud; Joey didnˆ¢t want to be in the room, so he spent the rest of your labor playing in the hot tub with Jessica.

Feeling you move down the birth canal was the most amazing experience. I was able to watch your head progress with the mirror and I held your head as you came down. I couldnˆ¢t believe that I was actually doing it; this part was all new to me since your brother didnˆ¢t come all the way down. I had crazy moments of clarity in between the all encompassing contractions. Grandmaˆ¢s shirt was inside out, I was able to point out supplies we needed and the next minute I would be back in my labor land. I didnˆ¢t know it at the time, but workers had shown up about now to work on the house, but Chuckie made them pack everything up and get out quick!

Daddy and Deanna took turns holding my hands over the birth ball while I used the contractions to push you down, it was powerful and uncontrollable! I donˆ¢t think I could have stopped for anything.

When your head began to crown, Daddy moved around on the bed so he could catch you and Auntie Deanna held on to me.

Your head came out and your eyes were open, you let out a little cry before the rest of your body was out. Because of my position you were looking right at Daddies face.

I was able to push the rest of your body out with the next contraction and Daddy caught you. He checked to make sure that yes, you were the little girl we were sure you were, and passed you thru my legs to me.

I was able to sit down and lean right back onto Daddy. Chuckie brought Joey up within minutes to meet you. Joey cut your cord with help from Daddy.

After an hour or so, Grandma gave you a little sponge bath and got you dressed in your nightgown. I was able to take a long refreshing shower while all your Aunties loved on you and then we crawled back in bed to learn who you were.

After just less than 4 hours of active labor and 25 minutes of pushing, your entrance into the world was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever felt both physically and spiritually. I felt like wonder woman! It confirmed my faith in my bodyˆ¢s ability to deliver you naturally, even after a cesarean. The love and support of my ˆ£teamˆ§ was essential, but you and I made it happen. My precious little pea baby girl you were here.